Not a 'training log' sort of post, and maybe the first 'bloggy' post of this blog. But this is something I've been thinking about, and wanted to jot down.
The last week has been kind of a rough one as far as training. I've had some good sessions, like a 2 hour rolling ride last Sunday on my amazing new bike, and some awesome mile repeats on the treadmill last Tuesday, but since that workout, I've found myself encountering this word a lot in my training.
Lately, I've been using it as a means of self-negotiation. Such as the 90 minute ride planned for Saturday morning, which I turned into an hour ride after a poor night's sleep. Or the swim intervals yesterday I changed mid-session due to noodle arms. Or yesterday's run, supposed to be more speedy intervals, but after feeling drained, I told myself all I had to do instead was run half an hour in the park.
It's been like that pretty much since Friday.
And lately, each time I dive into a workout I changed at the last minute, I've been thinking about this word. What it means to compromise. It means to reach an agreement between two parties (myself and my training). It settles a dispute (between my legs and those repeats). It makes 'it' enough--but only just.
There's just one problem. 'Compromise' has two meanings.
The other meaning implies the endangering of something: in this case, my success as an athlete. Each time I've reached a compromise with myself regarding a workout, am I compromising my chances to qualify for Nationals? When I allow myself, at the last minute, to turn those last two 100s into 4x50s, am I compromising my chances at swimming fast enough next weekend? When I choose the less healthy food item at the coffee shop, reaching a compromise with myself that I'll eat a nutritious dinner, am I compromising my body's chance at healthy fuel?
This week has taught me a lot about the importance of compromises. Sometimes they're necessary, sometimes they're the most rational decision. Sometimes they compromise goals, and that's what I'm trying to avoid. I'm still learning how to give myself every possible chance to be the best athlete I can be, and not to compromise my chances at achieving my goals. I'm also learning where to draw the line with self-negotiation, and how much is too much.
Compromises vs. Compromising. Someday I'll have it figured out.