I wonder..

..if the rain will ever stop. If the sun will ever shine.

..what to do with my hair.

..if I'll have time to cook that cauliflower tonight.

..if anyone reads this, my silly little blog.

Decisions, decisions..

I have a problem.

One of the benefits of being a self-trained athlete is the ability to choose what I want to do and when I want to do it. From daily workouts to season-long race choices, I get to decide when, where, and what. While this freedom is one of the main reasons I haven't taken the next step and gotten a coach, it's also a freedom that causes some drama in my athletic sphere.

I'm very easily influenced by anything I read or see. Right now I'm working on a book that's set in the deep south, so naturally I want to go on a trip not just to Mississippi, but back in time, to when civil rights were being fought for while white ladies played bridge. Not because I want to play bridge with the white ladies..but because I want to experience that reality.

If I read a food blog, or notice a great recipe, I immediately want to go home and bake, and also eat that cookie/cake/pie/cobbler/muffin now. This is where a lot of my poor eating habits stem from...cravings brought on by amazing recipes. Reading about cookies=I want a cookie. Worse, when I get those hankering's to eat and bake, I can't stand the idea of spending my evening training. I want only to bake.

Naturally, training is no different. I read an ITU race recap, and I think "I want to devote myself to this sport. I want to train 12 hours a week, and get super fit and fast, and see how far I can take myself in triathlon." Or I read about USAT rankings and I decide that I will focus on scoring points this season, and see where I line up compared to others in my age group. But if I read someone's recap of a half marathon, say, I completely forget about the race schedule I'd set up for myself last week when I decided I wanted to qualify for AG Worlds, and want nothing more than to go for long, slow runs, and try a half marathon.

This inability to focus on one thing: baking or triathlon or racing or even the workout waiting for me at home is kind of a problem. It leads to inconsistent training, and crash training when I realize how low my weekly hours are. It leads to poor race prep. It causes me to constantly re-plan my workout weeks and season race plans, and even my daily training. Sometimes I think I spend more time planning, calculating, tallying and mapping out training plans than I actually spend training. Oh, irony. You are a bitter pill to swallow.

I don't know how other self-coached athletes find that happy balance, between training and racing while still fulfilling other hobbies, without becoming absorbed in one or the other. I guess what I need to do is keep reminding myself that I'm young. I have many years of training ahead of me. I can always focus on half marathons next year, or in the off-season. And while I don't ever want to take my life for granted, I need to be patient. Focus on my immediate goals. Try my hardest at one thing before moving on. I know that in the end, that's what'll make me most proud, and fulfilled.

To-Do List FAIL.

I just made myself a to-do list. Here's what it said:

5:45-Home. Head to store.
6:30-Home.
-make lunches
-make dunner
-make bread?
-blueberry muffins?

Organize.

Unpack.

Hang clothes.

Worst to-do list ever? I think so. I crumpled it up. What I really need to do is buy us a doormat, go home and just start doing things. What will probably end up happening is a whole other story. I will probably not run at lunch, due to being ridiculously hungry. I will bus home. I will go for a short run. Or, I'll intend to go for a short run, but instead I'll get absorbed in building some more cabinets or organizing the bookcase or buying doormats. I'll forget to make dinner, hang up my swimsuit, not pack lunches, lose screws and washers, flip out, eat ice cream and go to bed ridiculously late.

Yes, yes I am hungry and cranky. Thus the part about not running at lunch.

No, building Ikea furniture is not that bad. Last night I didn't lose one washer. Not one!

Edit

At the top of my to-do list: Shaving my legs. It's bad.

Weekly Workouts 4/4-4/10

Monday 4/4

Swim: 60min. Masters

Bike: 50min. trainer ride

Tuesday 4/5

Swim: 45min. Masters

Wednesday 4/6

Swim: 60min. Masters

Run: 40min. on treadmill

Thursday 4/7

Swim: 45min. Masters

Bike: 30min. on trainer.

Friday 4/8

OFF: MOVING DAY

Saturday 4/9

OFF: MOVING DAY

Sunday 4/10

OFF: MOVING DAY

Weekly Workouts 3/29-4/4

Tuesday 3/29

Bike: 60min. O&B from house

Wednesday 3/30

Swim: 60min. Master's

Run: 30min. Hill repeats on lunch break.

Thursday 3/31

Bike: 45min. on trainer

Friday 4/1

OFF

Saturday 4/2

Swim: 60min. Masters.

Run: 45min. around Greenlake.

Sunday 4/3

Bike: 1:45 O&B on Burke.

Things I Like: Specialized Toupe Saddle

(Image courtesy of Google Search)

For the past..oh..two months or so, I've been testing all sorts of new saddles. I'd been riding in the WTB Deva since July, and just wasn't loving it. I wasn't even liking it, half the time. The saddle was bulky and had too much padding, and always seemed to rub me in the wrong places (we won't go further with that..). I found myself shifting around a lot, never able to find a comfortable seat.

I tried so many saddles it seems like..I tried the Fizik Versus Antares, the Fizik Vitesse, the Fizik Versus Aliante, the Specialized Romin, the Specialized Toupe, and..uh..I think that's it! It had better be it! I tried the Antares twice, and it was a close second, but ultimately I think I have settled on the Specialized Toupe.

I really appreciate the sweet spots I'm able to find in this saddle, whereas with my Deva it was as though there were no sweet spots (and keep in mind--this is just me! I know a great female cyclist who puts the Deva on all her bikes, and swears by the saddle. A saddle just fits some people, and doesn't fit others!). I also really like the minimalism of the saddle, and that it's fast yet comfortable. The Antares put just a little more pressure on my sits bones, while so far I haven't had any sits bones discomfort in the Toupe. It also allows for a range of movement when necessary. I went on an hour spin after switching saddles yesterday, and loved that I was able to shift in my seat and still stay comfortable.

And, saving the most important factor for last, the Toupe comes in white. And everyone knows a white saddle is faster than a black saddle.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Things I Know, But Ignore

-I should drink water. Every day.

-Junk food and triathlon trianing do not go well together.

-Every workout should have a purpose.

-To swim faster later, I must first swim slower--but correctly.

-Training is about consistency and commitment, moreso than anything else.

-Getting up at 4:30am won't kill me.

-Baking cookies will always be easier than training. But training will always be more rewarding than baking cookies.